rewritten

[8/9]

i had a dream 

where i was back at school

high school, that is

and i was laughing with friends

and joking with others 

smiling and

working hard to finish my work. 

i don’t remember this

but i'm claiming it

as a part of my back story

i’ll no longer think on the times

when i was too afraid 

of others 

to befriend them

or to joke around. 

i release the past version of me

who couldn’t fathom making friends

and avoided

eye contact

avoided

conflict

avoided 

challenge

and held their tongue. 

i embrace the version of me

who had always been

hilarious

and hardworking

and friendly 

and smart

and clever

and cute

and enchanting 

and open. 

i embrace being open. 

i enjoy spaces like schools and classrooms

i enjoy conversing with people

i have no intentions befriending fr

i enjoy observing

i enjoy chiming in

i enjoy circumstantial relationships

for the brief time theyre in my life

and i let them go easily when the circumstances 

change. 

i step into this fully

and embrace my own

change. 

- x.s.